How to Do It Right

For starters, this guy has the best title EVAH.

People Suck, Let's Bone - 26

If I had to ballpark it, I'd say I'm one of the top 100 humans to ever exist, specifically in terms of empathy, charm, wit, looks and sex moves. I'm 26 and I'm tired of all the bullshit. I can't remember the last time I met someone that kept my interest. Never been a fan of the bar conversation even though I am good at it. I'd go to poetry readings and galleries to meet women, but those women aren't any fun. Thought I'd give this a shot.

You: Like funny movies, know the names of obscure 80s television actors, know the lyrics to at least one Steely Dan song, are creative, enjoy laughter, can cook, have nice feet, are totally hot, like to do lots of different stuff, love the idea of a boyfriend who is awesome, enjoy romance, do not in any way enjoy the phrase "bottle service", have a great family, swear occasionally (especially while watching football and having sex), can't remember the last horror movie you went to or understand why anyone goes to them, have never had an eating disorder, are already understanding of yet combatitive (is that a word?) towards my preternatural gift for procrastination, have never cheated on someone, believe that having an awesome family is the best goal of life, love cuddling and ice cream, are super smart, are willing to accept that I honestly believe Remix to Ignition is one of the greatest songs ever created, knew the Iraq war was destined to be a quagmire the day it began, aren't sure if I'm insane or awesome.

Me: Awesome.

Besides you and me and our closest friends, everyone else really sucks. Let's bone and make babies and teach them not to suck

I LOVE POSTS LIKE THIS. Except for the mention of being 26, I'd think it was another strike of the german-lover.

Seriously, why do these dudes not have cool girlfriends? Will someone please snap him up?

Verdict: I think I'm in love.