To That One Chick

Today, an example of that rare variety of Missed Connection- the really cute guy who says more than "Hey hot blonde at Starbucks, what's your name?"

to that one chick whom I desperately want to make out with... - m4w

You are hot and pretty and hot... like a rainbow... or some really nice utensils.
When will you be mine?
That is not a rhetorical question. Please answer it. I feel like you are just like that Marvin Gaye song, when he says "I'm hot just like an oven..."

Only it's you who is hot just like an oven.

And it isn't an oven.

It is a gas range stove or a beautiful rainbow or the molten core of the earth.

I want to do hard drugs with you and make out like teenagers.

Then I want to satisfy you sexually for up to (but not beyond) 4 minutes, because that is all it will take because I am that awesome at pleasuring women in a sexual way, probably.

I hope you read my other posts that I wrote... they mentioned your being german, but I changed the headline because it occurs to me that you may not be german at all.

But you are as sexy as Jessica Rabbit.

Here's a list of sexy things I would do for you:

Bake you something
Build a moat around your house
Make you tacos
Go to a Tommy Lee concert and pretend like it didn't suck
Punch a cute puppy in the head
Buy bottled water
Donate money to charity
Find God
Find a missing person
Find you the best pizza in Brooklyn
Find Forrester
Build you a tennis court
Learn to fence
Make out with you like teenagers

Ha Ha... see what I did there? I named all this hard and crappy stuff, then I threw in the making out thing and... well you know...

It's like, reverse psychology or whatever.

Be mine and I will most certainly be yours.

Ok. First of all, he gets points for good grammar in his title.

Second, this is probably the cutest MC ever. It seems to be directed at someone specific (that the person knows in real life), which is adorable. If it's directed at someone from afar, my advice to that lady is to hop to it with this fella, because he is obviously awesome.

Third, this guy is my type, y'all. And not just because of the tacos and hard drugs. This is the perfect blend of funny, kinda sexy and kinda romantic.

Verdict: I really hope it works out for these two.